Monday, June 27, 2016

Burger King Mac 'n' Cheetos and BONUS Chicken Fries!

Brand: Burger King
Style: Mac 'n' Cheetos
Origin: United States
Type: Fast Food
Flavor: A sad, sad letdown :(

Verdict: Not approved

After my last healthy review, I decided to swing the complete opposite direction and get my little paws on some of the new Burger King Mac 'n' Cheetos that everyone's been talking about.  I'd heard generally good reviews about them, and I had a friend that wanted to go try them with me - score!  Since they are full of gluten and other crap I can't really eat, getting a friend to taste them with me meant I could just try a couple of bites without having to eat a whole serving and causing myself endless internal pain.  Yay!

We actually ended up liveblogging our tasting to Facebook, and if I can figure out how to take that video and upload it to Youtube, I will definitely post a link up!  It was so much fun!  However, the actual food itself...not quite so much fun.

First off, the smell was terrible.  It might be because I'm recovering from a cold and my senses are still a little off, but I personally thought it smelled faintly of generic cheese curls and strongly of feet, but not in the good cheese-feet way...just...feet.  They look like weird giant fingers rolled in fish food, and ours arrived slightly burnt, much to my delight and my friend's non-delight.  I thought that the burnt parts gave dimension to what was otherwise a fairly sad flavor.  The insides tasted about as good as that one time I stupidly tried a mac and cheese frozen dinner from the Dollar Tree...more of a cheese-like food product than actual cheese, texture similar to wallpaper paste.  The outside tasted alright, but the Cheetos taste was pretty lackluster.  They really needed to be fried, then rolled in Cheetos powder to really give it that taste we all know and love!  

The texture was somehow simultaneously dry and mushy, which I still can't quite compute, but a happy medium would have been best.  I did like the crunch on the outside, though.  That was probably my favorite part, especially on the slightly burned bits.  However, I'm also the weirdo that loves the burnt parts of a good mac and cheese oven casserole, so naturally I liked those parts best.  All in all, we decided it would be way better to make a good homemade mac 'n' cheese in the oven and crumble your own Cheetos on top.

Also, pro tip - these taste way better dipped in BBQ sauce!

Bonus Review - Burger King Chicken Fries

We also tried the Chicken Fries, because neither of us had eaten them before.  I liked these better than my friend did, although they were also pretty sad.  Chicken Fries, for those of you not in the loop, are essentially very skinny chicken fingers, presumably for people who like breading far more than chicken.  To be honest, if I could eat gluten and soy without facing certain death, I would probably eat the shit out of these, even though they were, quite frankly, completely disgusting.  I think they might put drugs in the breading or something, because even though they were saltier than the Dead Sea and just as dry inside as a desert, I really wanted to keep eating them.  I had to try really hard to only eat my couple of bites, even though they were so salty!  Something about how crispy and seasoned the breading was just really made me want to take another bite.  However, I definitely was one of those kids that was way more into breading than chicken and also, I'm from deep fried country (Indiana), all makes sense, I suppose.  The best part about them, actually, was the box, which had a really cute chicken face on it.

I don't think I'll be returning to Burger King again anytime soon, though.  It was pretty sad.  Afterwards, I was really wishing I had some water with me, I was so thirsty, despite only having taken about seven total bites of all the food combined.  My stomach also hurt for a bit once I got home, but now that I've had a nice dinner of fresh vegetable soup, things are pretty much back to normal.

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