Crystal Pepsi

Brand: Pepsi
Style: Crystal Pepsi
Origin: United States
Type: Soda
Flavor: Sugar with a side of sugar and some sugar on top
Verdict: Not approved :/



I was about ten years old when Crystal Pepsi was first introduced.  I remember it very clearly (oooh, pun intended?  I don't even know!): my mom and I were at Castleton Mall in Indianapolis, where I grew up, and in the center of the mall in front of Lazarus, they had a display set up.  Each person was allowed to go up to a special vending machine, push the button, and receive one FREE can of Crystal Pepsi!  It was so awesome!  As you know, any time you get to push a button when you're a kid makes the experience, like, twenty times better than it already was.

I gleefully pushed my button and got to try Crystal Pepsi for the first time.  I LOVED it!  It was sweet and cool and crisp and delicious and I wanted more more more!  My mom limited my amount of treats and had a weird vendetta against Pepsi though (Coca-Cola or die!), so I only got to have it a couple of times before it was discontinued.  Sad times for wee me :(

Great times for adult me, though, because Crystal Pepsi came back!!!  Or is it as good as I remembered...?  Watch the video to see my review!

So...maybe it was better when I was a kid.  However, much like the Swedish Fish Oreos, my sweets-loving sweetheart really loved it still!  They were more than happy to drink the rest of my bottle.  It's all yours, my love.  Yuck!

Purchased at Fred Meyer, Portland, Oregon

Dry Soda: Cucumber

Brand: Dry Soda
Style: Cucumber
Origin: USA
Type: Soda
Flavor: This is delicious...if you enjoy drinking carbonated cucumber-melon lotion
Verdict: Fail, fail, fail!



I went to get my haircut the other night, and my barber was ranting about this cucumber soda that his coworker had brought in from the Starbucks down the street. He said it was awful, but me being me, I had to go buy one immediately. Maybe it was inspiration from the pickle chips? The world may never know.

When I stepped into the Starbucks and boldly strode to the counter with it in hand, I asked the barista if she'd tried it. She assured me that A. yes, she had, and B. it was delicious. I asked if it tasted like cucumber water, as in water with a slice of cucumber in it, a refreshing treat I sometimes enjoy. I was also assured that this was the exact flavor of the soda, so I purchased it in good faith that no one at Starbucks would ever lie to me.

I have never been more wrong in my life. Ever. The thing with this pop is that when you first drink it, it tastes like plain club soda. The problem is, about a half-second later, the fake cucumber taste kicks in, and it's the worst thing ever. It's exactly like what I would imagine drinking cucumber-scented lotion would taste like, which is not something that I've ever in my life wanted to do. However, if that's a goal of yours, I highly suggest you go the less-toxic route and drink this pop. You'll love it.

Purchased: Starbucks, Portland, OR