Alexia: Crunchy Snacks Onion Strips, Savory Seasoned

Brand: Alexia
Style: Savory Seasoned Onion Strips
Origin: USA
Type: Onion Snacks
Flavor: Very similar to a Bloomin' Onion, but without the stupid name.
Verdict: Approved!





Do you like that delicious, heart-stopping appetizer known as a Bloomin' Onion? I know I do, but I also know that I hate steakhouses, and that's where those are usually served. Lucky for me, Alexia came out with this new product line with the amazing, to-the-point name, Crunchy Snacks. They have several different varieties, but today, I chose the Savory Seasoned Onion Strips. Let me tell you, I made the right choice.

They taste just like a crunchy, take-home version of the real deal. They're like onion petals, and they actual onions inside! (Spanish ones at that. I'm not sure why that's special, but the bag assures me it is.) They're seasoned well - a little spicy, a little peppery, a little salty - just enough to toe the line of overwhelming without crossing it.

Now that I've had these, I'm anxious to try the rest of the line! They had jalapeno onion strips, then several flavors of waffle fries (!!!), including ranch, spicy BBQ, and cheddar. If any of you devoted readers out there in Snackland try these out, let me know how they are, please!

Bonus: Chinese Cherry Blood Clot Candy

I feel nauseous right now. If you'd like to know why, try one of these strange cherry Chinese candies. It looks like a Tearjerker; one of those gumballs with the sour coating on the outside that we used to eat by the pailful as kids, but it's not. It's so, so not.

The outside is actually a medium-sized layer (slightly thinner than a hollow gumball) of barely cherry-flavored, sickly sweet sugar. Okay, a little gross, but I could handle that. However, unlike a gumball, this sucker ain't hollow. No, it's full of actual cherry. Some kind of horrifying, brown, mushy blob that was once a beautiful red cherry. I have no idea what these are or what they're called, as the label is entirely in Chinese, but if a stranger tries to give you one, run far, far away. In fact, run all the way to China and punch the dude that came up with these in the face for me, please!

Onion Strips purchased: Whole Foods, Portland, OR and Chinese candy purchased: Aji Ichiban, NYC

Cadbury: Turkish Delight and Cherry Ripe

Brand: Cadbury
Style: Turkish Delight and Cherry Ripe
Origin: Australia
Type: Chocolate
Flavor: Like eating chocolate covered soap
Verdict: Failed

It's always exciting to open my email at work and find something snack-related. Today, I thought I really hit the jackpot! My coworker returned from Australia with a huge bag of weird candy! I snagged a couple different kinds to try, so today you get a two-for-one review! And a lot of exclamation points! Woot!

I love it when things go from bad to worse, so I'm going to start off with the Cherry Ripe. This little guy sounded like it would be the terrible one of the two, but it actually wasn't too bad. The package describes it as, "Ripe juicy cherries and coconut in 'Old Gold' rich dark chocolate." I would describe it as, "Kool-Aid flavored, chocolate-covered blood clot." I tried to take a picture, but my fancy camera's at home and my cameraphone just didn't do it justice. All in all, this actually didn't taste like much other than Kool-Aid, and I can drink that stuff by the gallon, so this is okay by me. If I ever go to Australia, I won't be hunting it down, but I'd rather eat this than Vegemite!

However, if faced with a choice between Vegemite and my other Australian 'treat', the Turkish Delight, I might choose death instead. The Turklish Delight slogan is apparently, "The bar that is different," and I'll have to agree. Different doesn't necessarily equate good in this case, though. This thing tastes like licking the inside of a poorly sanitized bathroom in a train station. In fact, it was so terrible that I only was able to take one bite before throwing the rest away. Trust me, that's quite a feat, because I'll eat just about anything. I've been referred to as a goat on more than one occasion.

In conclusion, from what I've had so far from Australia, their snacks suck. It makes me never want to go there. I propose a challenge to you all (all 2 people that read this, ha ha): Someone send me something Australian and delicious! Please! I have friends there I'd love to visit, but I need to be convinced!

Purchased: Sydney, Australia